I got a call back from Wiley’s niece, Nancy.
At first, she was understandably hesitant. A strange man calls out of the blue and tells you, “I am a family history researcher, and I think your estranged uncle (who you may or may not have ever met) just died.” What would you think?
But we talked for several minutes, and I explained what had happened (remember part 1 from two weeks ago?) and how I had gotten involved. Since Wiley was a veteran, there were certain benefits available to next-of-kin (ie, not a distant relative like me), and without a family member to sign for those benefits, it wasn’t clear what would happen to his remains or his estate. I gave her the contact info I had - for the apartment managers, the neighbor, for me - and assured her that while I was curious about my distant family, I did not feel entitled to any information or keepsakes.
Wiley’s older sister, Fran, lives in California, in a town not more than a 45-minute drive from San Francisco. She hadn’t seen or heard from Wiley in nearly 40 years - and hadn’t know where he was or what might have happened to him.
Fran couldn’t recall whether there may have been some disagreement over money or a business proposal - the sort of thing that might have seemed critical at the time - but the point was that Wiley had chosen to isolate himself from his closest relatives for his last decades. Now the fact of his death had forced an end to that isolation and robbed them of any chance at reconciliation.
When the dust settled and Wiley was at rest in Sacramento Valley National Cemetery, his family found time to process what they had seen and learned.
Going through Wiley’s apartment and having to dispose of his possessions with limited time must have been excruciating, but it had to be done. There were some interesting discoveries. According to Nancy:
He did have a few old books on WWII, one that detailed the 1st Division Marines arriving in Okinawa, and on the cover of the book, he wrote, “I was there!” ... Life has sure changed in the years since Wiley was there. There were also a few pictures of him as a much younger man and we kept them. Truthfully, it was emotional for my 99 year old mother as he had no pictures of any family and she basically feels she never knew him. Apparently he and my grandfather did not get along, and he left home immediately after high school.
In the end, I think we all felt better for having done our part. Nancy told me:
We are all doing well, and we do feel some closure about Wiley, especially my sister and me. His picture was always on my grandmother’s dresser and we often wondered where is our uncle, but no one talked about him. His expired passport reveals lots of travel to England and South America…
It has been interesting for our family to get to know him this summer, but h[e] is now in the VA Cemetary and [we] feel this chapter is closed.
A few months later, they kindly sent me some things they thought might interest me. They were right! However, I was moving into a new house at the time, and between moving in and renovating, it took me several months to find time to see what was there.
Death is confusing and disturbing, even when it is inevitable and expected. It raises questions and offers few answers. There are always unanswered questions.
Who are the woman and the little girl in these photos? What happened to Wiley after the time documented by his resume? Some of his papers suggested he was an athlete in the Pan American Games - can we prove that?
All we can do is ask the questions and hunt for answers.
Meanwhile, Fran celebrated her 100th birthday last August with her family, who gathered in California from all across the country. Here she is with her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren:
May you all find such joy in your family.
As I said last week, there’s a remote chance that someone out there who knew Wiley might be reading this. I hope you’ll reach out. If you’re comfortable saying hello here, then please…
If you would rather contact me privately, go to my old Mightier Acorns blog and use the “Contact Me” box on the right side of the page.
This is one of the more gratifying aspects of genealogy. I reached out to someone with whom I shared DNA on 23 & me, and it turned out to be a second cousin who had been searching for his birth family. Unfortunately our connection came too late to reunite him with his mother, but some of the older relatives were able to share their memories of her, and of course I was able to fill him in on his lineage going back to Ireland! Thank you for doing this work for this family.
Thanks for sharing the rest of Wiley's story with us, altho it looks like there may be more ahead, given the boxes you now possess. Years ago I made a similar call, and the result was a family reunion no one expected or even knew was possible. I think about their reunion a lot as it provided a daughter with good new memories of her father before he passed. Lots of healing come from that. I've an idea, your intervention resulted in some, as well.