By the time I was a) serious about research and b) able to carve out time for talking to them about it, two of my grandparents had medical issues that drastically affected their memories.
Grandpa Russ (Alzheimer's, died 2002) on my maternal side and Grandma Nancy (acute short term memory loss plagued her final decade, died 2004) on my paternal side couldn't give me much. Grandpa Bob (d. 2007) and his daughter, my aunt Vickie, made sure I got documents and photos from his and Nancy's sides of the family. (The sources for the Huff story going up tomorrow!) My biggest regrets are not figuring out how to spend more time in Arizona getting him to talk about family memories.
Grandma Alberta lived longest and was sharp as a tack until her death in 2017 - but she claimed not to know a lot of "facts" and she considered sharing stories to be "gossip." She vehemently disapproved of the stories I tried to share with her - especially if I repeated stories I remember Grandpa Russ telling me when I was little. She did like the story I wrote about her grandfather, Emil Frey ("Love and Loss in Old New York...") and I was able to quote her childhood memories to some extent in that piece. But mostly, getting information I could use out of her was tough.
I think dementia is a whole other thing to think about when putting off those conversations. My grandma had Alzheimer’s a few years before she died. She had told me many stories about growing up on a farm during my life. The day she passed away, my cousins and I were with her. As we sat with her, I told her a couple of the stories she had told me. She listened intently and was so pleased to hear them (to her like it was the first time). It was one of the most profound moments of my life. I plan to write those stories in narrative form.
Now that I think about it, I need to just get them written down.
Love hearing about your family history. One of my great grandmothers had the same opinion about sharing stories as your grandma. I think my great grandmother was trying to shield us from my other side of the family. Lol. That history, well...it was a little sketchy.
Life does move fast in that regard. If only I had thought of the questions I have now, 21 years ago, when my grandmother was still alive.
By the time I was a) serious about research and b) able to carve out time for talking to them about it, two of my grandparents had medical issues that drastically affected their memories.
Grandpa Russ (Alzheimer's, died 2002) on my maternal side and Grandma Nancy (acute short term memory loss plagued her final decade, died 2004) on my paternal side couldn't give me much. Grandpa Bob (d. 2007) and his daughter, my aunt Vickie, made sure I got documents and photos from his and Nancy's sides of the family. (The sources for the Huff story going up tomorrow!) My biggest regrets are not figuring out how to spend more time in Arizona getting him to talk about family memories.
Grandma Alberta lived longest and was sharp as a tack until her death in 2017 - but she claimed not to know a lot of "facts" and she considered sharing stories to be "gossip." She vehemently disapproved of the stories I tried to share with her - especially if I repeated stories I remember Grandpa Russ telling me when I was little. She did like the story I wrote about her grandfather, Emil Frey ("Love and Loss in Old New York...") and I was able to quote her childhood memories to some extent in that piece. But mostly, getting information I could use out of her was tough.
I think dementia is a whole other thing to think about when putting off those conversations. My grandma had Alzheimer’s a few years before she died. She had told me many stories about growing up on a farm during my life. The day she passed away, my cousins and I were with her. As we sat with her, I told her a couple of the stories she had told me. She listened intently and was so pleased to hear them (to her like it was the first time). It was one of the most profound moments of my life. I plan to write those stories in narrative form.
Now that I think about it, I need to just get them written down.
Love hearing about your family history. One of my great grandmothers had the same opinion about sharing stories as your grandma. I think my great grandmother was trying to shield us from my other side of the family. Lol. That history, well...it was a little sketchy.
Looking forward to your next post. Thanks!